Time Out

Following my meeting with the consultant on Wednesday, I have been sitting back and letting staff do William's meds and blood sugars etc. I am actually quite enjoying it and it does allow more time for cutting, sticking, painting and making pasta robots... (from the Mr Maker CBeebies web page). One of the key reasons he was keen for me to do this is to learn to trust the staff to...leave William for a while! This I have now done on a couple of occasions.

On Thursday (I think, days and dates run into each other a bit in here!) I left him to meet 'LB' and 'V' from 'Fetch'. I had a lovely meal that didn't come out of a plastic microwave packet and relaxed enjoying conversation that wasn't all about hospital life. It was so nice to talk to other adults and be in a family situation and away from the intensity of life on the ward.

Yesterday, I took an even deeper breath and left William overnight, returning this afternoon. The reason of course, to go and see the girls and Mum and Dad. I haven't seen Dad for ages and ages, haven't spent any real quality time with Mum and have not seen my other children since Christmas. It was hard leaving Wills but the looks on their faces made it totally worth while. We had a lovely time together and I enjoyed more home cooked food, especially today's brunch (yum yum). Mum and Dad have done a sterling job in looking after and parenting Hope and Ellie over the last couple of years when Wills has been in hospital, often for several months at a time. They are very relaxed and happy there but I do miss them so much. It was hard leaving Wills alone at the hospital but I needed to be with the girls for a while and chose a morning when I knew he was being looked after with a nurse he knows well and likes. She was looking forward to some fun with him but he has not been quite himself today. I hope he isn't brewing up anything else as he was coughing and wretching quite a lot. We are certainly not having the hardest but are not having the easiest time with William's transplant recovery. His stoma output is still high, despite increases in medication. Hopefully, it will settle tomorrow after the new regime kicks in a bit more. If so, I am guessing we will be home sometime next week. If not, it will be back to the drawing board.

I have recognised the need for more time off the ward and am now sleeping in the hotel, rather than chilling there a while and returning to sleep on the ward. It is good to leave it all behind for a while at the end of the day and I can be back in 5 minutes if William needed me.