Monday, October 29, 2007

Spirals of unease

I have been feeling really uneasy about Wills all day. His play specialist came this morning and remarked on how pale he is. I agreed and she said, with much concern, that he looked a funny, horrible colour - grey really. She was right. He soon picked up but things don't seem right and I can't really put my finger on what it is. He doesn't have a fever. We took his routine bloods and cultures from his line so we will see if there is anything going on. He may just be very anaemic and need a blood transfusion. I hope so really because that will explain things and a blood transfusion will make things a lot better. He is really gassy at the moment and having a lot of pain and lots of bile draining from his stomach. He is clearly feeling yukky and this may have a lot to do with how pale he is. His nappies are pretty spectacular too!

I had a lovely run but started to think too much about Wills and what may happen. This helped to feed my sense of unease and upset. Occasionally, I get into a spiral where I feel nervous about things and then think that is must be due to some maternal intuition so worry even more. Today has been a bit like that. I have William on his monitor tonight. I'm sure all will be well and I will feel much better tomorrow.

2 comments:

Rebecca said...

Sending you lots of hugs hunny.

REALLY hope that your intuition is wrong.

It sounds so odd to say 'I hope a blood transfusion is all he needs', as to me, that's a big something to need, but for William, I hope it is all he needs.

You and William are in my prayers.

Big hugs,

Becky xxx

Shadow said...

Fingers crossed everything is ok! I'm hoping that the silence is a good sign.
Thinkin gof you all.

Huge hugs.

xxxxxx