Wednesday, April 12, 2006
A normal hectic school holiday day - hooray!!!
I have just finished tidying up toys and books strewn all over the house - and its great! This is how it should be with William spreading toys all over the place and taking all his vests and babygros off the radiators. Inbetween treatments he has been a normal mischievous toddler. He played with his train for ages, loading people on and setting it off round the track. The girls joined in with him as well - I tried to get a nice photo of all of them but all I could get was hair as they all crowded in together to watch the train go round.
I treasure every second of days like this, cherishing moments and tiny details such as how William feels when he cuddles me sp tightly face to face and how he smells, every expression he has, all his funny habits. It has made me cherish moments with the girls too where I may not have fully appreciated them before because we always assume we experience the same thing again. No exact moment is repeated.
Excitment is mounting because Hope is going on a TV programme on Sunday. It is a childrens' BBC Sunday morning programme called "Smile" and she has to play loads of silly games and computer games. Somehow we have managed to arrange things so she can do it as it is such a great opportunity for her and the girls miss out on so much because of William. We will be out at rehearsal all day Friday and picked up at 6.00am Sunday! For a professional singer, this could not be a worse time as Paul is committed to Good Friday and Easter services. Paul's Mum is coming to look after William which is great of her. The community nurses will flush him off his TPN and give his IV drugs. I was determined we would work something out for Hope. She will be on the ceiling tomorrow! It is so nice to have something else more dominant in the house this week than William and the next crisis. I really hope it continues. We are still waiting for him to go to Great Ormond street for the tests he needs before he goes for transplant assessment. Everyday the postman does not deliver the letter, I am relieved we have longer before our next planned admission and another operation but also dissapointed because I want to get all the tests and trys of this and that over and done with so we know where we are and what we are up against for the next few months or year. It is a bit limbo at the moment. William always smiles and laughs his way through it all though.
Today, I decided to start a second blog to accompany this one. This will be about the deeper impact of all this on me as a person, my personality, sense of self, spirituality... I decided to put this in a parallel blog as it won't interest everyone. It is listed on my profile but I haven't posted in it yet.